Russian Vodka

National Russian 80 proof cola. Abused in Russia almost as much as Americans abuse soda, or so the legends say. Once, back in early 90s, I was in St.Petersburg (Leningrad) and saw a picture. A young, probably married, couple was walking on a street. Each one had a bottle in the hand, probably for a romantic evening tкte-а-tкte. The man had a bottle of 200 proof Royal, a German made pure alcohol. The woman had a much more lady-like drink, 80-proof Armenian brandy.

Heavy drinking is well recognized as a problem by Russians themselves. One of the reasons, why they recognize it, is because heavy drinking is traditionally considered a very bad behavior there. Only it’s considered bad as opposite to a controlled drinking, not a 100% sober life. Traditional Russian “Sto gramm” or “100 gramms” – about three US "drinks" – were the part of soldiers rations during the World War II, just like chocolate with cola was a reserve stock on American air fighters. A drink (Russian-style) of vodka was for a long time considered a reasonable start for the Russian dinner for the man of the house. Why? Are Russians really hopeless drunkards, like some people try to picture them? Not exactly.

To understand that, let’s consider how “sto gramm” of vodka and human body works at -20 to -40°C. Yes, minus twenty to minus forty degrees Celsius. For reference, -10°C is about the temperature at which they declare a national disaster in England. At -20°C schools are usually closed in Wisconsin. So, what happens at -40°C in Russia?

Human body reacts to the cold the same way it reacts to stress. It narrows blood vessels close to skin to ensure that internal organs have enough blood for a fight or a flight and there is no extreme bleeding in a case of bodily damage. It works ok for temporary exposure to a mild cold, however it does not work if you live in a place where -20 to -40°C is a usual winter temperature. You preserve internal organs all right, but with a risk of a frostbite, at Russian temperatures a very high risk of frostbite for significant part of your body; face, feet and hands for sure. You cannot take this risk.

Now, what “sto gramm” of alcohol does to you at that time? It’s not enough to make you drunk and fall asleep in a snow – a sure death in Russian winter. Instead, it does two things:

1. It opens blood vessels close to skin, hence preventing frostbites; and
2. It’s burned in liver at high speed producing extra warm to compensate for the energy you loose through exposed skin.

Perfect balance, isn’t it? Of course, as long as you can limit alcohol consumption. And those, who cannot, are as despised in Russia as everywhere else. They also don’t live for too long – getting drunk and asleep in a snowdrift is a very efficient way of a suicide.

So, here is the reason for drinking in Russia. It’s not a national sin, it’s not really a mood enhancer, it’s simply an element of culture working toward survival.

By the way, one interesting thing that distinguishes vodka from other counterparts like whiskey or brandy or rum is that true Russian vodka by design contains certain impurities. They make a hangover heavier, so it looks like a wrong thing to have, but only as long as you consider it a mood enhancer. Once it becomes an everyday survival device, these impurities do two important things:

1. They serve as a built in safety device preventing consumption of a lethal dose of alcohol. Well before you drink a lethal dose of spirit from genuine Russian vodka, these impurities will force you to release the content of your stomach, punishing you with hangover the next day, but saving your life today. (Don't rely on that with Western vodkas like Smirnoff or Absolute - they may have being changed for current customers preferences).
2. They amplify the hangover and hence punish you for exceeding the socially acceptable norm. You don’t feel anything bad the next morning after usual Russian “sto gramm” or two. But once you get more, the more unpleasant is the day after.

For an everyday use spirit, both effects are quite valuable. You see, a lot of things start to make sense in Russia once you look at them right.

And for those who insists that Russians drink because of inherited genetic defect, let me tell one more story. My uncle was Moslem. He did not had a single Russian gene in his whole body. He did not drink wine. Allah forbids drinking fermented juice of grapes. But a triple-distilled fermented grain is a completely different story, especially if you live in Russia. Being a doctor, he even put a pseudo-scientific explanation why drinking vodka is a completely different – and preferable – thing compared to drinking wine. Yes, many Russian Moslems drink vodka, partially because Koran never mentions any restrictions on vodka, and mostly, because they are Russian Moslems, children of Father Frost. And whoever looks for vodka and drinking in Russian genes, should check his own genes for the parts responsible for faults in reasoning.